01 – Nothing to lose
The really beautiful thing about having nothing to lose is that one can say and do whatever they want. Fred, he has nothing to lose, he does and says whatever he wants, what a beautiful life. Fred’s situation is what this nothing to lose statement really means, no family, friends, resources, bugger all money, bugger all anything, not a single person he can even send a text about having no cigarettes to. Yes, Fred, he has nothing to lose.
The Narrator will be clear here too, Fred is still living the life of privilege even with fuck all. Never does he fear not waking up in the morning when closing his eyes to sleep, always has food available to him, clean running water, four walls, warm clothes, bed linen, hot showers (well warm anyway, unless he goes to the gym), a gym membership, he lives in Australia, Fred was born a male. All of this is privilege.
The Narrator is putting out the challenge, this shit will be seen, of course it will, it is drama intensified. People and organisations are about to be pulled apart publicly, people and organisations that will want to think very hard before they take action. Think very hard as they will know the words are all true, plenty of people will come out of their hiding holes to confirm the words.
02 – Today’s offender
Catholic Care NT (CCNT) and the No More (Family Violence) program, we start here. Charlie King, we finish with him.
Simple background, CCNT is an organisation created to support vulnerable people with a particular emphasis on Indigenous communities. They provide all types of counselling options from personal, to family and relationships, to financial and a few other services but that’s basically the crux of their business.
The No More program is a standalone program being administered under the CCNT banner. Charlie King is the founder of No More, his wife the Chief Executive Officer of CCNT. The problems start here but these aren’t the problems being discussed.
Charlie is a well known Australian Football radio presenter, was a handy footballer himself in his day, and a key influential figure among the Indigenous community. He is also a coward, a bully, a liar and is projecting all of the behaviours that his program his fighting to remove from our worlds. He gets away with it because of the organisational structure, his wife’s position and due to the fact he hires weak people into management positions that will never challenge him. He thinks the people he engages in non-management positions will not challenge him, the Narrator reckons he is wrong, Charlie knows he is wrong.
The No More program really took flight some years ago during a national discussion forum on domestic violence. It was founded well before this by Charlie and had momentum but was not really being taken seriously or getting the absurd funding it found post this moment.
The story goes that during the forum Charlie had an opportunity to speak. Whatever the words were the Narrator cannot remember most of the details, however the key moment came when he started challenging people in the room, pointing at them and asking them what they were going to do about the out of control problem that is family violence.
One of the people he pointed at, the final one, what are you going to do, Prime Minister? Malcolm Turnbull it might have been, not sure. Charlie finished his speech and sat back down. After he was called into an audience with the Prime Minister who pledged federal funding for the progrem. The Northern Territory political leaders not wanting to be shamed by doing nothing followed suit. Funding galore came in. Fantastically funded, absolutely absurdly managed.
03 – Fred and No Moe
Fred started the position, was a fantastic worker, put no pressure on people, just let them speak. He opened up spaces in communities and sat his arse down. He said bugger all, introduced himself and the program he represented, and just sat among the people he was there to support. Listened to them, listened to everybody, walked everywhere in places where white people are barely seen outside their walls. Talked to everybody, or more everyone talked to him such was the strange sight of a white man walking among people rather than hiding in their cars, homes and places of business.
He built trust and built it super fast. He supported everything and everyone, played footy, umpired footy, watched footy, cooked meals, watched the artists do their thing, went on road trips, handed out water at events, sweated litres and litres of sweat every day just to be seen, just so people would talk to him.
Freddy built programs, supported the building of others, didn’t get involved in some. He built what he built without putting any of his own wants or fixes onto it. The programs were built by the people, all Fred did was create a space where people felt safe to talk freely to a white man. Men, women and children, Indigenous and non-Indigenous all opened up to him, He put all their ideas together and asked them if this is what they wanted. It generally was, when it wasn’t they talked more, continued to adapt the ideas to suit. It was perfect.
Then it was over, Fred walked away never to be seen in the doors of the CCNT building again.
04 – The explosion
The second week on the job Fred’s Team Leader at the time had an ego blowout that was unfit for the environment. A new community Fred had never stepped foot in was the location of the outburst. Heading there in a little plane over phenomenal country Fred and Mal talked a lot, Fred made it very clear that this community was assigned to him and he would work his way, he would not push anyone or tell them what to do. Mal agreed, Fred do your thing, I’ll just help you to get started here.
Mal took over, told everyone what the No More program was going to do and what community participation was expected. This was not what was agreed.
Leaving the first meeting Fred turned to Mal and told him that is not the way I will work here and that he would appreciate if Mal didn’t continue this way. Mal’s face went beetroot red and he started screaming at Fred in the street, tried to bully Fred, tried to make Fred scared. Fred’s simple response two weeks into his dream job was mate, if this is the way the No More Violence program works I don’t want any part of it, I’m out, I quit. Fred quit on the spot, was not going to continue. Mal kept blasting, Fred walked away.
A few hours later Mal came back and apologised, they had a chat and Fred maintained his employment.
Returning to the office Fred went to see Narelle, the manager of the No More program, hired by Charlie. Fred explained what happenned, emphasised the violent outburst, Narelle’s response ‘What do you want me to do about it?’ Pathetically cowardice weak.
05 – Charlie and the hypocrisy factory
Fred watched as Charlie manipulated, bullied, undermined and treated Narelle like shit. Watched him do it to many people. Had many people open up to him about how Charlie and the organisation in general bullied and manipulated everyone. Fred always asked well, why don’t you say something about it? ‘No point, no-one is going to touch Charlie, and anyway he has the executive in his pocket, they’re all afraid of him too.’
Fred continued his work, was almost never in the office, spent all his time in community, didn’t need to deal with the politics. Was having a complete blast, loved, just loved his work. Was fantastic at it, this is what he was made for, could easily forget everyone in the organisation the moment he stepped away.
Well, maybe except his friend Jacqui, a phenomenally beautiful woman with the most phenomenally beautiful smile, Fred loved seeing it. Anyway, not the point of the story.
There were a few things in Darwin that Fred did, mainly the larger events, was great at this too, had plenty of experience. One was an absolute flop, was always going to be. Charlie was hellbent on pursuing it though, a pre-season shortened format of Australian Football. It was a waste of time, the format had success in other areas but not to anything that was worth putting the resources and effort into that was demanded.
Fred was particular with Charlie, told him that it wasn’t going to be what he was making it up to be. Much more important things needed attention. Charlie didn’t listen, not to Fred, not to Dean, not to anyone, a common Charlie theme.
Sitting in a meeting room discussing and Charlie tried to manipulate Fred, ‘Don’t let me down Fred’, Fred was having none of it. Told Charlie that what he was doing and saying was not fair and was not okay. Charlie didn’t listen, Fred picked up his shit and walked out.
Again, went to see the manager, told her Charlie attempted to manipulate and bully him so he walked out of the room. The response ‘they’re big words Fred are you sure? You can’t just walk out of the room.’ Fred rolled his eyes at her, shook his head and walked out of her fucking room too.
06 – The big event
A couple of months later a massive event is happening in community, the same one as the Mal moment. Eddie Betts, an icon and idol for Indigenous men all over the country was going. Heaps of shit was happening and Fred was personally invited, the No More program and Charlie King were invited as an extension. It was Fred they wanted there, Charlie was coming for the old men, the No More program for appearance.
A key outcome of the event was to bring the whole community to discussion about safety; community safety, children’s safety, safety of families and all that stuff. Fred was heading up these conversations such was the ridiculous load of work he had put into the community, moreso the manner he went about it. Everyone was excited, it had the potential to be a pivotel moment in the progress of the town.
None of these conversations occured.
Charlie accepted his invitation immediately and then, as Charlie does, started to tell everyone how the event and discussions were going to be held. Fred, no Charlie that is not how it is working, you are coming to run the conversations with the old men, they want to talk to you. The community, with my support, are running the majority of the conversations. It was a moot conversation, Charlie does not have ears to hear.
The man had lost touch well before Fred arrived at the organisation but to what degree Fred could not have known. Aboriginal people are very particular about their words being recorded, it’s never asked if conversations can be recorded around sensitive topics as the answer is not even no, it’s simply people will not even show up. They don’t show up because the person bringing such technology clearly does not understand culture and is not willing to listen.
Charlie’s first demand after the initial conversation was to tell, not ask, the community that a media team would come to record the conversations. Fred laughed at him, told him that won’t be accepted and that he did not even want to ask. Pressure was put on Fred so he asked, the answer from the community of course was no. An answer not accepted by Charlie, Fred was repeatedly asked to pursuade them, Fred said he would not and did not, did not bring it up again.
Issue number two, Charlie would not fly on the planes that the organisation usually chartered, it wasn’t good enough for his status, was coming on the police plane and the police plane only.
Big problem with the police plane, it’s unreliable, this is well known. Not the plane itself, unreliable because it is often needed for emergencies and last minute activities, can be cancelled and redirected at any time.
Fred was in community a couple of days before everyone, helped with all the setup. The night before the big day he went around with a small team and helped out with the judging of the Christmas lights competition, talked and laughed with everyone, everyone knew him by now. He’s kind of hard to miss, this knowing was a trust rather than appearance. It was beautiful.
An hour before the end of the event-eve night a call came through from the newish Team Leader, police plane cancelled, Charlie won’t be there.
Fred had 48 hours left in community, the most awful 48 hours of his working life, more awful than the death threats he and others received when organising the Solomon Island’s team for the Vanuatu Mini-Pacific Games.
No one, not one person would talk to Fred after the cancellation call, not even the bloke he had created such a beautiful relationship with to be invited in the first place. 48 hours Fred walked, helped, did what he could and didn’t say a word. Charlie let the whole community down, Charlie let Fred down, Charlie destroyed all of the beautiful work Fred had done. Charlie did this because his ego outweighed his responsibility.
Charlie was allowed to get away with this over and over again because the organisation was, continues to be, full of cowards.
Charlie put Fred’s life at risk in a highly vulnerable situation. People were angry, really angry, the one thing you do not do in community is say you will do something and not do it, you do not break promises and trust. Trust is the hardest of things to build in these places, the easiest to be taken away.
Fred did everything, kept every promise, never made any promises to keep, built trust the hardest of ways, the way that only trust can be built. Trust that was destroyed by an ego maniac who projects all of the violent behaviours towards his staff that he is supposed to be fighting against.
Simple case consistent with the theme of this book of forcing others to do everything when you are not doing anything yourself. This is a key point, you can protest, yell, scream and say all the right shit but if you are not looking at yourself in the mirror and saying that same shit to yourself you’re not saying anything at all, you’re doing nothing at all, you are a fraud.
Charlie King, the No More Program and Catholic Care NT you are frauds, and fucking weak pathetic cowards.
07 – The final meeting
A week after this episode Fred had a meeting to discuss this all. A meeting where he was ambushed by Narelle and Maria, the Team Leader. A meeting where Narelle projected all of her man hating discrimination onto Fred, none of which was true. A meeting where Maria lied to his face about his actions, lied because she was backed by the weakest of weak people, lied because she is weak, lied because she only wanted to get her way and absolve herself of her guilt of working in an area she had no business to be in.
The next day Fred walked into the office, Maria I’m going to take some time to decide if this environment is right for me, went home. The next time was the last time in the office, he attended to drop off all his work gear and left, his time with the program was over,
So, that’s where this conversation starts, there have been a few emails to the organisation that state this very clearly already, it’s up to them to respond, the conversation will continue then.
CCNT and No More, just to be clear, the terms Fred sent to you in his last email have well expired, the new terms he’ll share with you in time.
08 – Picking up the trash
Fred does this thing, picks up most of the rubber bands he sees on the ground, snaps them and throws them away. These things are terrible for wildlife. Freddy doesn’t know how many animals this kills, if it kills them at all. But, he does know what having his breath restricted feels like.
It’s basically what this waking up bullshit is, freeing your own breath, really experience your own body. All of the feelings and emotions pay attention to what happens with your breath when you feel them and you’ll find breathing becomes laboured.
Stress, everyone is in it all the time, pay attention to your breath when you feel stressed, you’ll understand what is being talked about here.
Free yourself of these things and you free yourself of the rubber band around your throat. All you have to do is feel them, stay with them, not project the actions that generally come with them. Breathe. Step one of walking into your fears, step one of courage.
Unfortunately too many leaders, men, are holding back everyone from healing and freedom through the hypocrisy of their message versus their actions. This is harmful and keeping the band tight, especially when working in such a delicate and volatile discipline as domestic violence. Safety is the only thing that matters in these roles.
It’s the point of calling out people who need to be called out, it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s freedom to speak as needs to be spoke.
Most importantly it is the truth, it’s simple and it is what it is.
These people are projecting the opposite of safety, not safety, through hypocrisy, there is no safety or positive outcomes in hypocrisy. It’s lying, every part of it. It has a simple fix, the Narrator wonders if you know the answer?
Turn the mirror around, look really close. There, staring back at you, is the required fix, the only problem, the only thing stopping you from breathing freely, from living your own life.
So, when these people will yell and scream at others to change and not even whisper in their own ear they need a bit of a kick in the arse from time to time. That’s the motivation here.
09 – Retention and attraction strategies
Frederick had a few friends he kept in touch with for a little while post his employment with Catholic Care. One of which mentioned to him that they took part in a two day retention and attraction strategies workshop not long after his final email of the initial employment cancelling email discussion. Fred, he did something, he made a change, had a bit part in it at the very least, did something that made people’s worlds better. Did something with bugger all, just one person.
The workshop was rubbish of course, but it happened which is all that mattered, there was a brief moment in which the organisation looked at itself and said we need to be better. Fred made that happen.
The workshop story goes that the first two hours, may have been four, were all the attention given to retention and staff culture. This little attention in an organisation that has terrible retention rates, even for Darwin. Moved straight onto attractiion, attracting new staff to the organisation. One of the proposed strategies, maybe the proposed strategy, was to trick people into the organisation.
Yes, trick, the exact word used, from what Fred hear’s anyway. Be up to the organisation and every person in the room of those strategy meetings to reject it. Or, accept it the Narrator supposes.