‘There’s a lot of fungi in there’. Fred’s comment after looking in the toilet after he was finished a few minutes ago.
Looking at what is in the bottom of the toilet can be an important health process. Shit, poo, faeces tells a person things.
Simple things to look at, there is blood in the poo or it is going black can both be signs that something is not right. There are things wriggling in it, generally this will be worms, something is not right. The something not right is your body, something is not right in it. Worms, easy, it has worms, worm tablet, that’ll fix it.
The other two, not a reason to jump to worst case scenario, definitely a reason to monitor it. Keeps happening, the blood or black, and the cause does not present itself then medical expertise is a step. Jumping and running straight to the doctor every time something changes in the body is not necessary, this is fear. Monitor it first, get to know this phenomenal machine.
This machine, this body, it is the ultimate pharmaceutical laboratory. It can do amazing things all by itself, things that are often labelled miracle. Not miracles at all, the healing that gets called miracle at times is not a miracle. No, it is the body having freedom, openness, expression to do what it does. It can heal itself should it be free to do so. Fear, attachment, all the rest are a barrier.
Become comfortable with your body and it will become comfortable with you. You and your body can do amazing things together.
There was a lot of fungi in Fred’s movement this morning. The last two days he really tested his batches of Gold Tops/Golden Teachers that he picked, it’s what a good medicine provider does. Makes sure they are safe. Day one, fairly easy dose, introduction. Yesterday, a much less easy dose, he had to make sure sure they are safe, he is.
He had some intense moments yesterday, intense moments that once-upon-a-time he would have found it difficult to be still with. Would not have wanted to be still. His medicine approach is a lot different now. The medicine goes in, he continues on with his day, just does him.
He does not lie still, sit there, or setup a specific space anymore. His room, safe place, is always ready when he needs it. Most days it is a him room, some days it could do with a little work. The last few days were hectic at the Groundskeeper work, he didn’t bother too much with his space. Did not need to, and doesn’t really, it is always in a good enough state. Primarily the bed is always ready, mostly roughly made, sometimes not, but ready to sit or lie in when needed.
Fred only goes to this space when the body feeling, the most intense moments of the trips present. This is the hard work part, he won’t run away from it. The peak of intensity of the trips is when he lies down, be’s still with the medicine. It is what his mother is asking, are you up for it Frederick? Frederick’s answer is always yes.
The body feeling of an experience is the real challenge. Can you stay with and be with yourself through it? Dosing is important again, it is a work the way up process. The body feeling needs to be learnt. Learning to feel, read, be with your body takes time. The flipping out and people doing stupid shit happens because they are not ready for what they take, impatience.
The intensity of the feeling in the body is what creates the visions, experiences, journeys of the medicine ride. The body can become very strange in its feeling, intensely so. The participant through their experience is attempting to understand it all.
To understand the mind will take people to all types of scenarios. Participant starts to experience the universe, planets, stars, moons, the great void that is the space of space. Experience it like they are it, the universe. They are being taken here to understand the message the medicine, themselves, are trying to teach. They think the visions are escaping the strangeness in the body but they’re not, Pachamama is making them listen in other ways.
The experiencer is not understanding the body feeling and thoughts as they present normally, the medicine shows them another way to interpret it. Psychedelics, this is their role, they show you You in a bunch of different ways, one way of which you will eventually understand.
The first message, the basic starting message, is generally this. Or a version of. It may take multiple different medicines to get the first answer to your problems, they all tell the message in a different way. Relationship with medicine is key, find the medicine that speaks your language now, the one you most understand, the easiest to sit with. You don’t need to heroic dose it, it is not recommended until you are ready. Be patient, work your way with the medicine, be together, get to know eachother.
The medicines all speak different languages, the consumer needs to learn them.
The message in the experiencing of the universe, and other similar experiences is exactly that.
It is not telling you that this is what living is, to be able to sit down, close eyes and continually come here. Come here, other planets, universes, solar systems, dimensions and all that crap. This is not what human life is, it is not the message it is telling you. This motivation for participating in psychedelics is rubbish. The participant, so many participants, almost all, get stuck here and never move on.
No moving on because they think this is what they want and keep chasing it. Chasing it and chasing it, this is the life I want, the one where I can be everywhere but here where I am, be everything but this animal that I am. Here is where you are, where your body is, it is where you live once you learn to do so.
The message is simple, it is exactly what is experienced. This is you telling you that you are the universe. You, like Dominic, like Fred, are the centre of your universe. It is the only place you will ever be. Only ever be in this body, this body which is the centre of your universe.
The body feeling in the medicine experience of I am the universe is what needs the attention. People forget to feel, they are lost in the theatrics. Feel the body in these scenarios, listen to the head, there will be nothing there. It will be free and clear, it will be beautiful. You will not know it.
The experience is asking you to pay attention to both. The experiencing of the universe in this way is so abnormal that the experiencer has no way to think about it, feel about it, it cannot be rationalised. There are no thoughts or feelings created from conditioning to explain it, there is only emptiness inside the body, the universe outside. It is beauty.
Pay attention and understand the messaging is this, You are the universe.
You are the universe yet you are trying to be everywhere but where you are. Complaining about shit. Anxiety, depression, fear, ignorance, violence, force, control, and all the rest are you living everywhere but the universe that you are. You are your own universe, live there.
The pure body feeling, the no thoughts, shows you what living is. You are living here now, in this moment, participating in your own story fully, you experience the universe. The message of this extremely common trip.
The way the participant feels and thinks in the I am the universe experience is available at all times. The truth of it when you understand will not have anything to do with other dimensions. It will simply become being the me that I am and enjoying this beautiful planet, what I experience within that planet in my own universe.
Fred doesn’t worry and give all his attention to world events, it is stupid. If it meant so much to him that he is jumping up and down protesting, yelling, screaming and all the rest of it he would be at the source of what he is protesting. He would be there, not the living version of a keyboard warrior, screaming from tens of thousands of kilometres away. Palestine, he would not scream from Australia, he would go to Palestine and he would scream.
He would not scream though, he would go there and support, talk to people. Not tell them what to do, say rubbish like I understand what you are going through, or I’m here for you. All rubbish, no he would sit down and listen to people, support them to get through this horrible experience.
Fred would understand what he is yelling and screaming about, should he yell and scream he will know what he is saying.
He does understand this thing, war, Fred understands it. Not from television, Youtube or any other coward method of getting involved. He knows it because he has been there. Frederick knows what war looks like, feels like, smells like. He knows the true victims of war, the true tragedy of war. So do you Reader.
Soldiers, humanitarians, journalists and all the rest who go to these places and die are not a tragedy of war. Waste of life dying in war, but not a tragedy, not at all. These people made a conscious decision to go to a warzone, some of them die. Their ignorant friends and colleagues then go public with how much of a tragedy this is, it shouldn’t happen in war, aide workers and journalists being killed, it should not be allowed.
Oh boy, what ignorant shit. Because you come from privilege, have the privilege to choose to be in this place you are in some way exempt from its outcomes, you think you can ask for sympathy? Ignorant pathetic rubbish. Going to a war zone the number one thing a person needs to accept is, regardless of their position of privilege, chances of dying here in shitty ways are very real. You are not exempt regardless of your motivation to be there.
Accept it, accept this is the universe you have chosen. Experience it maybe.
This is not Fred’s universe, not at this moment it is not. His whole universe right now is the caravan to his right, the mountain to his left, the beautiful property (the parts he can see), himself, a lamp, a coffee mug and writing this stuff. That is his universe, his whole universe at this moment, nothing else exists. He won’t waste his time thinking about any of it.
The universe Fred is experiencing now, the one just described, what does it feel like? It feels the same way as the medicine experience I am the universe. It is enough, this is living and he is doing it without medicine. Simply sitting in his seat, writing a simple book.
Freddy’s medicine experiences have very little visuals, open or closed eyes. Only occasionally are they very visual. World replaced by a bunch of things once, the majority of the attention went to a gigantic flying Chinese ceremony dragon thing. Best description the Narrator could find. Another was Fred facing a Jester pulling out party tricks from thin air. Crazy. Funny as hell.
There’s beauty. Fred also had this world replaced by nothing but blackness and himself facing himself in the form of a chimpanzee. He was showing himself how strong he was, 18 months ago, there abouts.
Mostly he talks to himself, does it in a bunch of different ways. There are little practical visions, two to three seconds, it’s enough, Fred remembers them. They mean something, he is showing himself this for a reason. The next day he writes that thing down and starts to research, gathers information, learns what he needs to know. Next step, attempts to apply it to his life.
He has thought processes, thinking. He is not thinking about what is going to happen if this happens, or if he loses his job, or if the car breaks down, late for work, sick mother, get my period. He doesn’t project himself into the future, anxiety does not exist in Fred’s body anymore.
Thought processes. Fred does not continue to be heart broken over all the pain he has felt. He has felt it, does not need to anymore. Still feels it when he wants it. Human emotions are beautiful things when they do not control you. He is not stuck refusing to accept the death and loss of his loved ones, a lost love, a lost child, his parents, his family, all his friends, what he could have done, what happened to him when. He does not waste his time being stuck in the past, depression does not live here anymore.
Thought processes, what is my life telling me now? The thoughts in his head are the themes? How do they all relate to one another? They all do. Relate to one another, they all do. The feelings associated, what does that say? How does it all relate? The conversations with others, the words he uses, the words he hears, everything that happens, how does it all relate?
This is what he does on medicine, well, always. Thought processes, very clear intentional thought processes. He could be a little easier on himself with this one. But, he won’t, he loves it. A great process, Fred’s process.
Normal thought patterns but with an intentional process. Sometimes he talks, just talks out loud. Let’s it all out. He was fighting with the drugs, he had given them up for his family. Ridiculous, the Narrator was a bit stunned by this one. No, he did it. They didn’t respond, that’s that, thought Fred. The next one was ‘well, I guess I’ll just do everything my way then and see what happens’.
He told himself directly in the next DMT trip ‘Fred, come on mate, you love these things, you have fun with them, just be you buddy. See what happens.’ It’s what Fred did. Continues to do.
Through his process, and a healthy relationship with this beautiful psychedelic tool he has learnt to talk to himself. It’s the way he likes to be talked to, it is the same way he talks.
Theatrics are a distraction to Fred, he just wants someone to tell him the truth. The medicines are truth syrums, it’s what they do.
The relationship, it’s his way, he very sternly says to himself in trips, nope, we’re not doing it like this, it doesn’t make sense, show me another way. It happens, the way he didn’t understand stops, another way starts. So you choose your relationship with the medicines, everything about it. All you really need to do is learn to listen to what you tell yourself, the hardest part.
Listen. Pay attention. Be open. Heal. Live.
Human Beings forget what they are, incapable of listening to themselves, to others. Ego, stubborness, pride, these ignorant forces have created what people have become. Have stopped people understanding the problem in this world, the full problem.
All the terrible rubbish that is happening is no different to addiction, all the terrible is a symptom of the problem, it is not the problem. The problem is simple, it is people. People are the problem, only people, nothing else. No other thing, creature, animal has any blame in what this world has become. Only people.
War, famine, violence, rape, bullying, suicide, torture, the climate crisis, all symptoms of the cause, the problem, people. People are the only thing in this world making the world as awfully unsafe as it is. Every single one except for the one writing these words is the problem.
Words, these are the problem, what people do with them, the lies that is spat with every single word. Words, in every single format is the tool that human beings use to spread their destruction. People, all people, are awful cowards, so afraid of themselves they use these tools in the worst way. Prefer to lie and destroy one another because they cannot tell the truth, cannot look themselves in the mirror and say ‘oh, there is the problem, it is me’. It is all of you, people the weakest and most unintelligent of all creatures.
People are so weak that they are afraid of bugs, reptiles, all animals and yet call themselves the top of the food chain. People need to build walls to keep themselves separated and safe, build weaponary and tools to have any chance of survival. No other animal needs this, no other animal creates tools to kill one another from hundreds of metres away, kilometres away, countries away, it is how pathetically weak people are.
People who call themselves strong will kill a child, a young boy, for using words in their direction which they don’t like, which are true. Gang bangers, this is the cowardly bullshit they do. A young boy in Mexico was killed for calling out gangsters, men who say they are tough, men who will take a child’s life because of words. How pathetically cowardly.
Fred knows all this, how weak and pathetic people are, the ones carrying weapons the most weak, cowardly and pathetic. He knows a weapon in the hands of a coward is the most dangerous of dangerous things. The USA, the gun violence, a result of cowards having access to this destructive tool, more destructuve than the tool is the cowards they are. Weapons in the hands of cowards, like Taddie, is the most dangerous of things. The USA, the top of the coward food chain, there is no wonder the awful gun violence is what is. It does not take a genius to work this out.
Again, as the Narrator has repeated many times, Fred does not care about the violent potential of cowards, he knows he is making himself vulnerable to it. He will not lie to save his own breath. He is not a coward.
His breath will remain until it doesn’t. Whatever way it is removed it is removed, it will happen when it happens, it will inevitably happen, what way it is removed it does not matter. Someone else does it Fred will not raise a hand in defence, the someone else will know that the number one coward on this earth is them, they will know this beyond doubt. No lower point can be reached by the disgusting animal than to maim someone because of using words that are true.
People forget this thing that they are, think they are special because their brain operates differently to other animals when it doesn’t. This is not true, it is rubbish, people are animals, creatures, things. People are no less or more of an animal than dogs, rats, maggots, horses, cows, birds and all the rest of it. People are no different.
People communicate with words. Words are simply sounds, vibrations, noises, tones. No different to the way in which every other animal communicates. The language is not more sophisticated than a cat’s language. There is no difference except for humans wanting it to be more than just being animal, needing to be special.
Where has this special got them? Look at the world, look at what your special has done, you are not smart. Collectively humans are the most dumb, weak, cowardly, unintelligent of all species. There is a massive gap between humans and the next most unintelligent. Nothing else cares what it is, it does what it does as is its role. Nothing else lives in absolute greed, will kill itself or others for fun, will kill itself or others for any other reason than survival. Humans kill each other because they are pathetic and weak, too weak to be able to be in conversation with one another, kill each other because of the sounds coming out of mouths. There is nothing more cowardly.
People, trying to be God, trying to be all types of things when they haven’t learnt to be a human yet. Pathetic. Weak. Cowardice.
That is all this religion rubbish is, all the following of gurus, investing billions in space programs at the expense of starving people, at the expense of ensuring people have clean safe drinking water. This is what people are, what you are. It cannot be denied. You are the worst, most pathetic, destructive, violent of all animals. You are an animal.
You are an animal. No different to slugs, kangaroos, bears, dung beetles, magpies, llamas, cows, horses, foxes, toads. Thinking you are not, that you are special, does not make you so. It simply makes you the dumbest of all creatures.
Try be a person first before trying to be God and all this other rubbish. It is simple to do, stop lying, stop being a coward. Look at yourself and take responsibility for you in every way, stop blaming every one elses. Make the changes you are trying to force others to make in your own life, for yourself. Step one of learning how to be a person. Listening, it is step one.
Step one, listening to yourself, the animal that you are. Learn to be a person and you stop being all the problems in the world. Stop being the pathetic stupid thing you are.