Chapter 20 – Magpies
Does something, shows you in the process you are wrong. Does what he says, says what he does. Yeah, the Narrator is talking about Young Frederick. 41, not too old, not too young, just right to experience everything he wants in a healthy safe manner. Feels like he is eight, this is how amazing his body feels, it is just peace.
Fred snuck his nose in then, he said eight, it isn’t true. He doesn’t want to overemphasize things or underemphasise them, they are both equally not true, lies. He still does them like this, it is rare but he does it. He corrects himself, when he was talking about the Uncle the other day raping his toddler niece and fucking raping her. He only needed to say it like this, but he did it the other repetitive way to get his point across. This is still an attachment to this work he does, the trying to get through to you.
This is his work and his only work, nothing else, it is the plot of this book. We are learning it together, Fred, the Narrator (Fred again) and you.
Trina remember? Money is power. Fred, right now, is changing her mind, gently but very firmly. Just being himself, he cannot be walked over or bought, he is showing her money is not power.
He talks about money a lot, it could be attachment but it isn’t. Money is the primary topic because it consumes all of your minds. He speaks your language, keeps it simple, uses your words.
He knows what those words mean, therefore the only words he uses is the ones he knows the meaning of. Every word is intentional, every single one. The Narrator won’t emphasise as much anymore, you are learning this thing is not lying, it says what it means. He learnt to speak truth and continues to learn. He can explain to you simply so you understand the meaning of every word he uses. Fred’s attachment to getting through to you will no longer be fed by not knowing the words he uses. Simple process, his process.
Trina said something today which was bullshit, Fred does not participate in bullshit. He was expected to say yes, he said no. Did not stop saying no, told someone they were violating his space by trying to control him, told her in the most gentle way he could.
I am your manager and you are directly rejecting my instruction. Very close to that. ‘Yes, and I will continue to do so. Trina this is a control thing.’ Fred opened the control conversation weeks ago, this is the second time it has come up. To you it is a control thing. ‘No, Trina what is happening in your body is doing this. Your inability to be with yourself.’ Said it calmly. His breath and posture did not change, his words were direct and as clear as the beautiful voice of a magpie. Could not be misunderstood for anything other than what they were.
I feel quite confronted by this. ‘Of course you do, you’re not used people saying no to you’. I will have to take some time to think about this. ‘Okay’. Conversation over, moved on.
Simple words used to deliver an important statement. Fred will not be bought. Cannot. He told her too that the only thing he wanted from this place is the accommodation, do whatever with the money, does not care about it. He knows what it does to him when he does. He understands that it also adds value to his life by the privilege it allows him to be him all the time. He can buy good food, drugs, linen sheets, put petrol in his car, munchie out when he is in town and just have a bloody good time. Have all of it easily, money allows this.
Money doesn’t control Frederick, Frederick controls the money he has. Fred controls it by using it only on the things that mean something to him, makes those things much more accessible. It is how money should be used.
Fred couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The issue, Fred decided to do work with 15 minutes left when Trina told him to pack up. That was him saying no to her too. He needed to make two tracks more accessible and safe, one track for practicalities (toilets) and the other for encouragement (adventure track), both were much more important. Still, not the issue.
The conversation, I told you to pack up and go home at three. ‘Yes, I heard you, I had 15 minutes to mow the two areas, I did, I got bogged, 30 minutes late. You don’t have to pay me for it’. I told you to pack up and go home at three and you didn’t. ‘Yes, correct, I’m telling you that you don’t have to pay me for the extra work, there’s no issue’. There was. Like how dumb? A bloke works 30 minutes more and today scrubs the 30 minutes from his timesheet, he won’t work a moment of overtime anymore but he’ll work overtime often. It is not out of spite, or revenge, Fred just does not participate in violence. Control is violence. There is only one thing driving Trina here, you know the word, attachment.
He loves the property, he wants others to love it too, wants them to feel safe to explore and be silent with the world. He will make sure it meets these standards.
Oh beautiful, the healing in just being silent in nature. It is part of his healing technique. Walk in the bush every week, for a couple of hours. Bush is any place where you cannot see a car, barely a road, occasionally another person. Fred says G’day when he sees other walkers, keeps walking.
So many people put their head to the ground, so shy and void of contact with others that they bring it here too. Fred doesn’t let them bring it to him, says hi to everyone. Not in town, in the bush, ha. He smiles and looks at their face when he does it, then looks away, people smile back, it’s beautiful.
Silent means no technology. No music, nothing but what you are wearing. water and a watch, not phone, watch. Walk for an hour and turn around, no intention to get anywhere, just walk. Roll, dawdle, limp, run, hop skip or jump. It doesn’t matter. If you can’t walk for two hours yet, or walk at all, grab a chair and sit there in the quiet with yourself. Just look and listen to it, you learn to listen to yourself in the process. Beautiful process, Fred’s process.
Not having a destination in mind is the point, you can pay attention to where you are rather than where you are trying to get to. This isn’t living, yet, it is the life everyone chooses. Back to the conversation.
His motivation was much more justifiable than hers to him. He chose everybody over just himself, everybody he chose over money. Depending on where Trina is with her process will dictate the outcome. Work through it, not work through it. The second option Fred will be asked to leave or Fred will leave. He won’t make a fuss with either one. Not even being made homeless with very little money could penetrate his thoughts in this conversation. Nothing but this conversation existed in his world. He was showing Trina this is what a real conversation looks like, asking her if she was up for it.
He wasn’t intentionally challenging her at all, not once. He was making sure she understood what he was saying, she was not willing to today. He made it clear he understood her, she knew it was clear to him. He did not dispute one thing she said, only disputed what she took from what he said. It was not what he said, he corrected her and corrected her without changing anything about himself.
The only change he made was to ensure he said it clearly enough, it got a little better each time, he learns from each attempt.
Conversation moved on, it took a while for Trina’s body and breath to settle down, her face start to relax a bit but it did. Fred didn’t take any moment into the next moment. The discusssion above was a moment, many moments, it was many moments that made it an understandable one. This is what it means to be in the moment, just to enjoy your own story, when one plotline closes let the next one be itself.
If Fred had have taken the previous conversation into the next one with Trina a collective stress now enters the room, safety is compromised, relationships break down. Today trust was built, Fred knows Trina will come to understand this, whether it is tomorrow or in two months, he told her the truth, she will understand. He asked her to look at herself in the process. She has to now, the thought is in her head.
She never needs to say sorry, she has learnt something true about herself. Perfect. She has learnt money is not power.
Body, feels like four.
Magpies, so afraid of these things for such a long time Freddy was he never really heard them. He is hearing them now.
For years he wondered why a magpie always topped the list of the Australia’s Most Beautiful Sounding Bird list. Magpies, what? Why? To him they were the devil. How old was he? He was mowing Tom’s lawns. Ha, Tom’s lawns. $5 an hour to push a mower up a hill that one almost needed a rope to climb up. Fred was skinny, maybe 12 or 13, seems about right.
It was shit, and Tom he wasn’t a fun boss. Fred was always a bit suspicious of him, kind of creeped Fred out somewhat, he couldn’t place it. Still hasn’t. Ha, he just starts laughing now. He knows it’s true and knows there is a reason he finds Tom suspicious, just doesn’t know the reason yet. Whatever it is could be anything, he already knows the answer is going to be a good laugh. He’ll of course share it with you and, ladies gentlemen, the story could be absolutely anything at this point.
Embarassing? Fred won’t be, he’ll laugh his arse off. Shameful? Nope, feels like ribs about to burst laughter.
Freddy ran over the hose one day, Tom was going to dock his pay $20. He was a bit tight with his money Tommy. Fred thought it was bullshit, never went back to work for old Tom again.
Man, he rips this on his older brother, Kimberley. So funny this man, just absolutely hates the way his name is spelled. It’s like a girl would spell it. The Narrator couldn’t do the same thing to him here, unless it’s his name of course. Fredrika is having a good laugh, Fredrika was occasionally the comeback. Mainly when the little brother got in on the act too.
Tom only used to pay me $2.50 and he pays you 5? You’re an arsehole. Fred just laughs every time, real laughter. Kimberley reacts like Fredrika is stirring him up with his laugh. He’s not, he is literally laughing at how stupid this man is.
Kimberley would have worked his backside off and many more hours than necessary to get as many $2.50s as he could. Very different relationships towards money from the start. Kimberley was ashamed because he didn’t have anything that his much more well off friends had. Now he gives his kids everything and says he does everything for them, it’s sad. It is all stuff, nothing real, nothing true, this is not modelling, not giving, not doing.
A man that would not, refused to, change his children’s diapers when they shit in them. Couldn’t stand the smell of shit, he never tried to learn to stand it. So stupid he thinks people accept this when he justifies it, they do not, this is the family Frederick is expected to choose, to priorise, to do everything for?
Funny thing, Frederick has done everything for them, he really has. Some emphasising is necessary, the Narrator writes this he has, then Fred’s body sways side to side, his eyes close a little, the next one was him. The only reason he is doing what he is now, this trying to get through to you publicly, is because he first tried it to get through to them. It started the YouTube part of the writing.
Fred does not see the point in crowds and attention, it is dumb, another of the dumbest things you do. Craving attention, craving fame, thinking it means anything real, this is the dumb thing. Suicide rates are astronomical because of it. It is why he is doing this, another why, you will discover there are many why he is doing this moments along the way. He is showing you how to gain attention the right way, do it safely, continue being who you are through it.
Showing you this when attention is the last thing he wants for himself. He wants the attention equally as not wanting it, it is the tool he is using to fulfil the plotline of this story. He knows both choices, he gets to show you how to use them and what it does for your life through the platform, another word for tool.
He laughs at some of the ways he has practiced attention, his cock out on a pool table, ripping a bong in front of his mates, talking rubbish, wearing stupid clothes, lying, crying, laughing, showing a woman a condom wrapper thinking it would impress her. It was too big that one anyway, probably would have been more embarrassing if they made it to that point. Funny.
Funny, ha, descriptive words at the end of something. Fred’s laughing, it’s funny to him, he is not only sharing his words with you, he is sharing him.
The Narrator wonders what Kimberley would say if he knew the guitar of his Dad’s that was untuneable and never played is still untuneable and never played. Freddy’s army mate cracked the shits one day because he couldn’t tune the guitar. He couldn’t because it could not be done, many had tried. Went all rock star with the guitar against the walls of the dorms.
About a year after mowing Tom’s lawns. Maybe it was the fact that Freddy was mowing Tom’s lawns and his mate Scotty was telling him it also meant a women with manicured pubes that Fred found him suspicious. Fred still didn’t know what pubes were but he was starting to become curious.
Pubes, people, come on. Pretty hung up on this thing, the hair thing. Meh, whatever, another time. A shaved whatever yeah it is cool but it also comes with a pretty significant disadvantage, it doesn’t have any pubic hair. There is only one role of pubic hair that Fred knows, he enjoys it for the reason he knows it.
Pubic hair holds in the smells, some of the juices and what is created to get both aroused and experience the other person. Really learn them. Horny vagina juice starting to creep into the pubic hair is a great indicator of the woman enjoying what you are presenting. The man/woman/whatever else presenting is presenting well.
The smells themselves set off a shittonne of chemical reactions in the partners body, both bodies. The whole body, all its senses come into play. You’re working together and you haven’t started doing what you set out to do yet. You then start to do what you set out to do and you understand this is how it is done. Again, safety, it is what allows this space. Safety, both people feeling safe, both making their own choices, together. The ultimate in experience with another person.
This is the point Fred will know he has mastered sex, the ultimate safe moment, the first be who we are completely together moment. It is the peak of the sexual attachment/exploration, from there he makes choices, he balances it out. There is no way he will ever stop doing it, no way, it is a great thing to do with another person. He knows shit sex too, reached the pinnacle of that, so now he knows his choices. Shit sex or not shit sex.
He won’t choose the pinnacle of sex either, that’s too much, once is enough. The choice will be a balance that he finds beautiful for him, that is balanced with the person he has sex with.
Okay okay, a year after mowing Tom’s lawns Fred is walking up Red Rock, it’s an old volacno. Gets to the park and is swooped by a magpie, runs behind a tree. Takes a breath, magpie swoops again, runs to another tree. Breath, fear, swoop again, process repeats. It repeated for 30 minutes, Fred was almost in a state of shock he was so scared. He couldn’t let himself go into shock, this magpie was after him.
Eventually Tom’s new wife and the kids walked down the road the other way, the magpie stopped swooping, Fred escaped. Had an intense issue with magpies ever since. The issue, the crippling fear broke his sense, broke his ears, didn’t allow him to hear them as they are. His ears are no longer broken, there are no more fears of magpies or being swooped, his ears get to hear this beautiful noise. Oh boy people, the sound of a magpie, listen to it. Don’t call it anything, just listen to it.
Goanna’s, beautiful creatures. One got a bit too close to Fred yesterday, just behind his chair. Boundaries buddy. Moved it away.
This morning Fred is filling up his water bottle, says G’day to some campers. He reckons he hears someone say something. Turned around and a little kid is hugging up to his older brother’s leg. The older brother that wiped his little brother’s bottom last night, Fred heard the conversation from the shower. Beautiful modelling.
‘You want to ask the man something?’ Asks the older brother, then, shyly ‘yeah’, whispers ‘Goannas’. ‘Oh Goannas’, replies the older. ‘he wants to know where Goannas go when it rains?’ You’ve come to the right place good buddy. Well buddy they find shelter, and go to the ground. After a few days of rain when they come out they can be really dopey. ‘One came in the tent the other day, we left the zip open’. Yep, that will happen. Laughs.
‘AND, MISTER MISTER, it dug through the tent and dug into the ground, why’d it do that?’ Little kid jumping up and down with excitement now, this is what he really wanted to know. Fred told him and the little group. Well mate, you know when you’re in the shower and it feels a lot warmer in the air?. ‘Yeah’, he did, there were a few nods around. Basically that’s why, it’s a little warmer there. See the short grass over there? Looks, nods. The ground is about 24 degrees there, this is nice, people are warm blooded, we can be okay in many temperatures, goannas are cold blooded, they need to be warm.
No more questions, children silent, and off they went, question answered, answer understood. Fred just taught them the way he has taught himself, be simple, clear, easy to understand, know what you are talking about. Simple, beautiful process.
Ground temperature in relation to grass length, learnt this from Trina. Long grass ground 19 degrees, short grass 24 degrees, no grass 40 degrees (all celsius). The amount of places there is no grass now when there used to be grass. It is still occuring. What is Australia thinking about their contribution to the global climate crisis? The crisis which is the world’s mother screaming out in pain.
Solution, bring back grass. Simple. Cereal makers, terrible, The box and bag is twice the size of the contents in cases, Jesus Christ, come on Australia, come on, come on.
Listening, such a beautiful skill, the young fella/s, boys and girls, did it well. Today, some not so young fellas, men and women, did it poorly. Put their lives in danger because of it. Stopped others from going home in the process. Silly.
The river here has flooded, flooded more than it has for a while, it may just stay flooded for a couple more days. The rains have come again. Just now it’s raining again. Everybody should be home but they are not. They are stuck here, some with only enough food for tonight. This rain may stop them going home for a couple of days. Just silly.
Where Fred is they have enough food for everyone, they will put on a barbecue as necessary, people will be looked after and kept safe. Provided they are willing to listen.
The Narrator is going to add first, Fred and Trina, the two of them worked fantastically together today. Trust is being built. Trina looked after the logistics, Fred looked after the people, they both did it well. Trina trusted whatever Fred was doing without knowing what it was, everyone was calm, everyone was safe.
Safe until one person, just one, did not listen. Fred, in every conversation made sure the people he was talking to knew that should they risk leaving the property over the flooded bridge they were risking their lives. It was their choice. The crossing was safe enough for most cars, but not all cars, not with novice drivers. Novice in these conditions. So it was not safe until it was for everyone, this was the call Frederick made. Everyone was safe while they were lsitening, everyone was calm.
Fred kept them up to date at all times. Everytime he said he would be at the river to check he was, within 15 or so minutes. People trusted him, they waited, he got there, took one look and, the last time after quite a few times, said 30 more minutes should the weather stay like this it’ may be positive, wait a little longer. Most did, a couple didn’t, really it was okay. Every car would have made it by this point safely, Fred was also considering how nervous people were. 30 more minutes and the river no longer looked too frightening. Calmer people, safer people.
Freddy told them what to do when crossing a river, repeated at the end stick to the right it is shallow, very easy to see the bridge. The right part he repeated to everybody, evweryone heard, he doubled up too. It needed to be understood. It was until it wasn’t.
The larger cars were first, gives the team more time. Most were across, maybe 10 cars out of 60 to go, we’re there.
Then the not listening happened, a driver ferrying people over who should have been walking. Walking is safer than driving in these situations, Fred did not make this clear. Did not expect people to be getting out of any cars. The instructions were driving through without stopping, slowly, 10 to 15 kmh, do not stop. Stay right on the bridge when leaving the property.
Not only had Fred told this person this, another camper had too. Did not listen. The car is now one wheel off the bridge, the rest of the car blocking the bridge. The guy went right on the way back too, in a spot where the bridge cannot be seen clearly, there is a sign here. The sign says bridge may not be here. Bloke didn’t read it, didn’t listen. Got stuck in a most dangerous place to be stuck, a powerful river.
‘What do we do?’ Asked one of the party. Get everyone out of the car. They didn’t listen, nothing happened to them, another silly decision because they continued not to listen to people who know what they are talking about. Fred went and had lunch.
His timing was impecable though. Non-routine check doing a bin collection, as soon as he walked into a position he could see the river it happened. Vroooom, crrrrrrrkr, oh boy. Smack. Car smashes off the bridge onto its frane. It is not coming out. They try anyway, keep trying, they try snatch strap it out. Fred isn’t sure whether they went through with that one, it was the point his stomach said I can’t stomach this shit, told him it was hungry. He went and ate, and he laughed.
Dumbarses have just completely stuck families here who were ready to go home. Camping can be shit when it is wet, it can heartbreaking. The team did a great thing here today, everyone is still safe, hopefully a few have learned to listen. Provided these people learn the incident has served a purpose, everyone had to learn something in this place today, impossible not to. It came from Fred telling the damned truth, not umming and aaghing telling people only the best or worse case. No, he told them truth he knew the best he knew it, he told them how it is, he kept everybody safe.
This is all came from Trina trusting Fred. This was the first time she did, she thanked him at the end of the day. First time it has happened. He had a great day, let her know it too. Learnt a lot.
It is how it is done, build trust in every moment. The many monents that lead to this moment. The only skill necessary is the one where you tell the truth.
Fred had bugger all food, it affected him too. He wanted to go to Beaudesert to restock, he couldn’t, he did not bring it to the event. He wouldn’t have gone until everyone that was leaving the property had left.
Back to the food, bugger all in the privilege sense. Bugger all here is nothing that went together to make a meal that made sense. He would’ve made one that didn’t, got it down and been okay.
Or, alternatively, he would say to himself ‘well, great, i’m pretty much fasting, might as well see if I can find some fungi or swallow some ayahuasca’. Ayahuasca isn’t his medicine at this time, won’t take it. But, mushrooms they are a possibility. He’ll go for a walk soon. Maybe.
Work brought in stock this morning to make sure enough food was here for everyone. Almost everyone watched. They used tractor and foot (staff, experienced people). People watched them do their thing, all staff together. They did it well, the two other staff drove the tractor up to the office afterwards, Fred started to walk back, turned around, Does everyone know what is going on? ‘No.’ Haha, Fred laughed, it was a well, buddies I am going to fix that laugh. He did, the whole crowd knew what was happening.
He finished by saying please listen, we are here to keep you safe, please only listen to the information that comes from staff, please do not create stories. If you have a question ask us. He gave them one opportunity to ask questions, if anyone has a pressing question please ask it, I’m quite busy, he laughed. Others lauighed too. Little boy thought about it, Fred did not dismiss him. Question little buddy? ‘No’. No questions, off he went.
Everyone understood. They waited, they knew the answers would given as available, the true answers. Everyone was safe, again, while they were listening.
Basically, Fred talks about the problem gossip is early in the chapter, he then gives an example of the alternative, truth. The gossip one, there is no safety in it, truth is full safety.
Of course, however, provided one knows what they are talking about.
Work overstocked, bonus. Fred also now has a loaf of bread, four litres of milk, cheese and two tomatoes. A sensible meal in itself especially when he adds the Weetbix to the mix.
Weetbix, it goes with the milk.