Were the Groundskeeper to have a single wish for its brothers and sister, for its good mate William who the Groundskeeper knows is struggling right now, for all of humanity it would be a simple wish, a Groundskeeper type of wish.
The wish would simply be that for five minutes the whole of humanity could feel what it is to live in the Groundskeeper’s skin.
The Groundskeeper knows for five minutes the world would completely stop, every human being would be still, no noise would be made.
There would be absolute silence for 30 seconds followed by the most beautiful tears the world has ever imagined, the world would cry in unison for a minute. Tears would represent every heartbreak, every joy, the love that isn’t, the love that never left.
The final three minutes and thirty seconds would return to silence, not an eye would be open, the world would be pitch black, nothing would exist but what it feels like to be the Groundskeeper.
It is phenomenally beautiful being this thing. There is no confusion, the thoughts are simple and clear, they are often never there. Closed eyes come with blackness, silence, stillness, the body reflects it. It cannot be felt but it is overwhelming, it is all there is, it is all there needs to be, it is an understanding that comes without doubt. The message is clear, this is where peace lives.
Peace lives here, in every one, at all times, one can work for it, worth every moment.
The first 30 seconds, the quiet, the what is this, the feeling, the beauty the peace, the silence, it will be brand new. It opens space, for the minute of grieving, the most important part, you get to grieve like the Groundskeeper.
You grieve for the absolute waste war is, scream from your being that this is not the answer, the evidence is clear, everybody knows it.
You grieve for the starving around the world, wail at how we can allow people to starve while others waste so much, waste so much to kill others, to fill our filthy pockets. You grieve at you filling your pockets while others go without the basic safety necessities for life.
The pain turns to clean water, you know what comes out of your tap, the clear shit you can put in your mouth, the absolute basic safety necessity for life, the basic necessity for life that others, many, do not have. You grieve at how kids have to carry buckets kilometres and kilometres just so their family can put this most important resource there possibly could be in their mouth. One minute of true grief.
Grief turns to your mate, a man you would be proud to call your father, the most beautiful man this world could know. A man who has been so beaten down by others hatred of themselves, hatred they projected onto him that he thinks he is worthless, he says these words. Your heart breaks, how can it be like this, how can we be like this. How can a man who saves a strangers life, projects nothing but kindness, gives nothing but love believe this rubbish about himself.
Grief turns to yourself, everything you projected to this world, the violence you create with your words, the you in your mate. You know all these things, the worst of the worst is you, you know you are it. You grieve for the terrible war you have created with every word, the seperation your ignorance has caused.
The depths of your being releases itself. Stillness comes. Eyes close, you know the most important thing that matters now.
Love comes through, oves shows you that you are the best of the best too, violence is a choice, one you will learn now to make, you know you are doing the best thing for the world you possibly could be, you are trying. Trying to remove your violence.
Love turns into compassion, care, empathy, oneness, a unity with yourself that is new. A oneness that shows you the oneness in all things, that you are not seperated, that your stories are not true, they only get in the way.
You know your stories are your trauma, discrimination, judgement, bias, rascism, sexism, bullying, and all the rest of it. You understand these are only stories, they do not matter.
You understand this is where peace lives, you feel the peace in yourself.
The final three minutes are spent thoughtless, in awe of the phenomenal PHENOMENAL being that exists underneath all these layers you created, these curtains you put up, the walls you built.
You know this is the way, you’ve never felt like this, you never want to let it go.
To be the Groundskeeper is this, to get a sense of peace and pursue it with your whole heart, make nothing important but it. Peace in your own heart is the only thing you pursue, it is the only thing that matters, once you find it you give nothing but it.
It’s beautiful to be me.
It is phenomenally beautiful being me.
This is my journal, there have been many iterations, this is the one that I enjoy the most, they were all fun, but this is how I have always done it. Written, expressed on paper, burnt it when the pages finish and start again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. This is the same thing without the waste, my journal gets expressed to the world there are no secrets.
It is no secret that I will tell you if you cannot explain that thing you are talking about you do not know what you are talking about. Extend this process to anyone you listen to, particularly your teachers, gurus, swamis, medicine providers, whatever else.
The above doesn’t explain what it is to be in the Groundskeeper’s skin, it shows what it takes to be there, the love and oneness, the removal of all seperation. The truth is everybody does know what it is like to live in the skin of me, you know words like phenomenally beautiful do not explain, by the time I am finished writing you will understand, know it too.
This is the walking and public transport explanation, I do not recommend trying it while you are driving, all though you do it then too just in a slightly different safe way. The scenario takes time, to put yourself where you need to be, to allow silence to come into your space.
Remember, you do not need to imagine, this exercise only requires memory, so remember, allow yourself to remember.
Remember walking, being stuck in your own head, errant erratice thoughts, the body not allowing a moment of peace. Remember.
Remember walking, remember the moment a moment broke your distraction. A thing of pure beauty presented, removed all thoughts from your head, stopped you dead in your tracks. Remember having your breath taken away. Remember.
Sunsets, sunrises, butterflies, the smell of lavender, a green hill, cows grazing in the field, a small river crossing, the ocean presenting itself when you reach the top of the mountain. Remember, what that thing is for you, remember.
Remember taking it in, remember remember closing your eyes for a breath. Remember the inhale, the way the breath feels, moving freely through the body, it is unrestricted.
The warmth, oh the warmth. Every cell in the body feels like your description of absolute comfort and safety, to me it is my mother’s hugs, every cell in my body feels like it is hugging every other cell, the same hug my Mum once gave me.
Remember being moments from sleep on the couch when a loved one, one who loves, gently covered you with your favourite blanket. Remember the feeling as it slides on your skin, the smile that comes to your face knowing someone cares enough about you to care. Remember.
Remember pausing.
Remember the outbreath. The world of trouble, pain and suffering does not exist, there is nothing but calm, there is peace in the body, you know this is it, whatever you are looking for this is it.
As you exhale with a gentle hmmmmmm, all the beauty of the world exists in your heart, your universe is nothing but love, this is perfect, you are perfect, just as you are you are perfect.
The gentle hmmmm, this is what it feels like to be me, to be the Groundskeeper, it is phenomenally beautiful, you know this already.